


haha and then what? ;)

by Kittycattycat



Category: Kindergarten (Video Games 2017 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Anxiety, But it’s all one sided bc Ted doesn’t have it in him to be mean to felix, Carla and Billy play matchmaker, Copious vine and meme references, Crushes, Crying, Developing Relationship, F/M, Felix is rude and mean, Friendship, Gen, In my mind Monty is just sollux Homestuck sorry guys, Internalized Homophobia, Matchmaking, Multi, No one is cishet, Penny is everyone’s mom friend, Protag is named Kid, Sibling Rivalry, Swearing but that’s to be expected, Ted has a lot of crushes and that’s valid of him, chatfic, just a little and it’s very vague but it’s there, secret crushes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:28:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22411033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittycattycat/pseuds/Kittycattycat
Summary: [KIDDO added NUGGET, FLOWER GIRL, 4NDR01D, and nine others into the chat]Ozzmosis: oh jesus christ
Relationships: Billy & Lily (Kindergarten Video Games), Buggs & Cindy (Kindergarten Video Games), Carla & Monty (Kindergarten Video Games), Felix Huxley & Theodore "Ted" Huxley, Lily/Nugget (Kindergarten Video Games), Theodore “Ted” Huxley & Penny (Kindergarten Video Games)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 110





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Kiddo/Time Warp - Kid/Protag  
> nugget - Nugget  
> Flower Girl - Lily  
> 4NDR01D- Penny  
> Ozzmosis - Ozzy  
> billybob - Billy  
> Teddy bear - Ted  
> wheeliez - Monty  
> Jeremy - Jerome  
> Kween(TM) - Cindy  
> Chungus - Buggs  
> Richy Bitchy - Felix  
> Stealth 100 - Carla

[KIDDO added NUGGET, FLOWER GIRL, 4NDR01D, and nine others into the chat]

Ozzmosis: oh jesus christ 

billybob: yeah mood

Teddy bear: oh wow! This is a lot of people!

Teddy bear: like, a LOT of people

wheeliez: hate 2 break it 2 u but theres literally only 13 of us in the entire chat

wheeliez: ur just lonely and think any amount of people is a lot

Teddy bear: :(

Ozzmosis: i mean hes right though

Ozzmosis: it feels like WAY too many 

billybob: thats cause you got that anxiety bro

billybob: like i get what you mean but youre literally only basing that off of your own social phobias 

Jeremy: FUCKIN OOGH

wheeliez: press f

Ozzmosis: don't make fun of me!!

Ozzmosis: youre right but like 

Ozzmosis: you shouldn't say it

Teddy bear: please don't make fun of him guys! I know picking on each other is a thing we do and all but sometimes it's not very funny 

billybob: youre right, my bad

billybob: sorry ozzy

Ozzmosis: apology begrudgingly accepted 

Kween(™): UGH can you guys SHUT UP!!!!! My phone won't stop buzzing because you guys are blowing it up!!!!

Kween(™): Like I know I'm popular but seriously????

Kween(™): I'm trying to get my nine hours of beauty sleep!

Chungus: lmao yeah you definitely fucking need it

Kween(™): And what exactly is THAT supposed to mean, Buggs????

Jeremy: He's saying you're ugly, Cindy

Jeremy: And while I don't necessarily agree, I can get behind the sentiment of it

Kween(™): .

Kween(™): I'll play jump rope with both of your spines

Kween(™): Better watch out

Chungus: id like to see you try

wheeliez: full fucking offense buggs but cindy could literally decimate u

billybob: yeah no buggs you're gonna die 

Teddy bear: man…. you guys are scary!

Richy Bitchy: Shut up, Teddy.

Teddy bear: sorry felix :(

4NDR01D: Don't be mean to Theo, Felix! He has as much right to speak as the rest of us.

Kween(™): Seriously, whatever, just shut up already

Ozzmosis: just mute the chat?????

Kween(™): Oh, right!

wheeliez: fuckin idiot

Flower Girl: I'm going to assume based on the whole not responding to an insult thing that she's gone now?

billybob: supposedly

nugget: oh! hello lily!

nugget: nugget thought you were not going to speak in the chat

Flower Girl: Hey Nugget! Sorry I was just, nervous, you know? There are so many people in here and it's kinda stressful.

Teddy bear: that's what I've been saying!

nugget: well, nugget is very happy to have the pretty lily here

Chungus: ha! somebody's got a crush!!

wheeliez: what are u, five?

Jeremy: Okay so I mean as much as I live for the relationship drama, one, like half of us have crushes who cares at this point

Jeremy: And two, they're literally dating?? 

Chungus: THEY ARE???

Chungus: comgrats nugget u absolute fuck, u manned up

Jeremy: comgrats 

Chungus: shit

wheeliez: comgrats 

billybob: comgrats 

Chungus: oh my GOD SHUT UP

Ozzmosis: Comgrats 

Chungus: ozzy im coming for u next

Ozzmosis: Fuck

Flower Girl: ANYWAYS, yeah we’re dating where have you been??

Flower Girl: It's been like two months already

Chungus: bitch damn i dunno!! i don't exactly keep up on shit

Ozzmosis: All this relationship stuff is dumb anyways

Jeremy: Bold words from someone who's crush I'm well aware of

Ozzmosis: Uh

wheeliez: ooooooo?

Jeremy: Monty why are you acting all surprised you literally also know who his crush is

wheeliez: haha yeah u right 

Ozzmosis: WHAT

Ozzmosis: HOW DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING????

Ozzmosis: GUYS????

billybob: wig i think

billybob: i mean no one TOLD me but i think i have a pretty solid idea of who it is

Ozzmosis: please don't say please please don't do it don't say it please please please 

Jeremy: Woah hey! I'm not saying anything! I'm just saying I know who it is

wheeliez: yeah man like i know im a dick but it's not my place u know?

wheeliez: also its. kinda obvious i won't lie

Ozzmosis: Billy?

Ozzmosis: Please

billybob: ive been quiet this long, dude

billybob: not changing it now

Ozzmosis: Thank FUCK

Ozzmosis: Seriously guys I could've had a fucking asthma attack, christ

Ozzmosis: Don't do me like that again

4NDR01D: Please make sure to destress Ozzy…

Ozzmosis: You're right, Penny, I really should take a break or something

Ozzmosis: You guys better not talk about me while I'm gone

Jeremy: No promises, Ozzy, no promises

Ozzmosis: Fuck you

wheeliez: ehehehehe

Chungus: dude where the fuck is kid 

Chungus: he dumped us all in the fuckin group chat and then hasnt even spoken like wh 

Flower Girl: Actually yeah, where is Kid?

Kiddo: I'm sitting back, watching, waiting

Kiddo: Viewing silently, looming over you all, as I watch your virtual chat society crumble like dust 

Kiddo: Your own hubris shall be your downfall, not mine

4NDR01D: O.o

Jeremy: man shut the hell up

Kiddo: Yeah that's fair 

Flower Girl: Okay guys, I hate to interrupt whatever it is that's going on here, but it's getting late and we should all really be getting sleep

4NDR01D: Oh! You are absolutely right, Lily! 

4NDR01D: Yes everyone, please make sure to sleep soon and get your adequate eight hours of sleep!

Chungus: Euuuuugghh groooooooossssss

4NDR01D: >:(

4NDR01D: Please get good quality sleep, Buggs! It's very important for your growth and development. 

4NDR01D: We all care about you and want to see you succeed, and success starts with personal care!

Chungus: i 

Chungus: fukc

wheeliez: is he. crying?

Jeremy: probably

Chungus: SHUR HP

Jeremy: Alright buddy, whatever you say

wheeliez: night, buggs 

Flower Girl: Sweet dreams, everyone


	2. Chapter 2

Kiddo: Okay guys, we have a fucking issue

billybob: eh?

wheeliez: what’s happened now?

billybob: should I be worried?

Kiddo: Yes. somebodys gonna fucking die

Kween(™): I heard death, what's the sitch

wheeliez: who says sitch 

Kween(™): me, asshole

Kiddo: My leftover mcglobs nuggets are fucking g o n e. somebody care to explain where the fuck they are?

Kiddo: I opened my lunchbox and theyre just not fucking there

Kiddo: who the fuck wanna DIE—

wheeliez: ahahahaha somebody really is gonna die lmao

Richy Bitchy: What sort of moron has that big of a death wish?

nugget: nugget knows what this looks like. but nugget is innocent

nugget: nugget knows the sacredness of the bond between a boy and his nuggets

nugget: never would nugget seek to destroy that bond

Kiddo: No Nugget you're fine I believe you

Kiddo: You would never

Teddy bear: It wasn't me! I don't really like chicken nuggets 

Teddy bear: No offense, Nugget

nugget: offense was taken, but do not worry, nugget is very forgiving

Richy Bitchy: I have no need to steal your disgusting cold nuggets, Kid. The idea is ludicrous.

Kiddo: Yeah you guys are both in the clear too

billybob: so that leaves

billybob: me, lily, buggs, cindy, monty, jerome, carla, and ozzy?

Ozzmosis: look me in the eyes billy

Ozzmosis: do you honest to god think I would take ANOTHER PERSONS FOOD from their FILTHY LUNCH BAG and proceed to PUT IT IN MY MOUTH????

billybob: point taken

wheeliez: well it wasn't billy or lily, they're too much of pushovers

wheeliez: “too much of pushovers?” is that the way to phrase that? christ, im losing my sense of grammar 

Jeremy: ill help you investigate

Kiddo: No way, you’re still a suspect, bitch boy

Jeremy: okay wig

Kiddo: Whoever it is, when I find you… :)

Ozzmosis: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

Ozzmosis: K I D WHAT DOES THAT M E A N 

wheeliez: wasn't me, i don't want yer nasty chicken nugget leftovers 

wheeliez: also i cant exactly “sneak over” in my wheelchair, kid 

Kiddo: Fair point, BUT

Kiddo: You could've just stolen them when you were already next to me and I wasn't paying attention 

wheeliez: not saying i did it, but if i did do it under that specific set of circumstances i think that would qualify as your fault tbh

billybob: also hey, how do you know i didnt take it??

Jeremy: Billy why would you put yourself back on the list as a suspect? you could die or some shit

4NDR01D: I’m late, sorry. What did I miss?

Jeremy: somebody stole kid’s chicken nuggets

4NDR01D: Oh, I’m sorry to hear that Kid.

4NDR01D: Not to point fingers, but are we sure Nugget didn't do it?

wheeliez: nah we already ruled him out

wheeliez: sacred nugget bond or w/e, you know the drill

4NDR01D: Aah, I see.

wheeliez: current remaining suspects are buggs, cindy, carla, jerome, and… billy, i guess?

Kween(™): I'm still vegan, you know!

Kween(™): And I KNOW chicken nuggets aren't vegan

Kween(™): I'm not THAT stupid

Ozzmosis: Debatable, but fair

wheeliez: lmaooooo ozzy coming in here with the hot roasts

Kween(™): Ozzy me and Buggs are going to take you DOWN

Chungus: who's talking about me

Kween(™): Me, fucknuts 

Chungus: wow okay

Chungus: also damn i definitely would have taken the nuggets but i didn't even know you had them

Teddy bear: um, in the name of resolving conflict, should I maybe buy you more nuggets? would that make it better?

nugget: more nuggets is always the answer to any conflict

nugget: nugget knows this for certain 

Kiddo: Yes you should. But I still want to know who took my leftover fucking chicken nuggets.

Kiddo: It's the principal of the thing.

wheeliez: in this instance it's actually spelled ‘principle’

Chungus: shut the hell up, monty 

[KIDDO changed their name to TIME WARP]

Ozzmosis: why the name change??

Time Warp: Just cause I wanted to tbh. Kiddo felt too generic.

wheeliez: and you felt that a rocky horror reference would remedy that?

Time Warp: Why the hell do you know what Rocky Horror is?

wheeliez: its one of carlas favorite movies

wheeliez: why do YOU know what rocky horror is?

Time Warp: Fair point

wheeliez: now let’s find your nuggets, kid 

wheeliez: buggs, where the hell were you this morning?

Chungus: NOPE, can't accuse me, im sick today

Chungus: didnt even show up to school this morning

Chungus: rule me out

wheeliez: well fuck

4NDR01D: Um, for what it's worth, I can promise it wasn't me!

wheeliez: nah we know it's not you, you can't even eat penny 

4NDR01D: :(

Teddy bear: and we didn't suspect you anyways, Penny. You're too sweet!

4NDR01D: Awww!! >w<

Chungus: i 

wheeliez: god that was cute

Richy Bitchy: Just get on with it Monty. Might as well solve this as quickly as we can. 

wheeliez: right. well.

wheeliez: remaining suspects are billy, jerome, and carla 

wheeliez: and it couldn't have been carla actually because she was with me all morning

Jeremy: How do we know you're not just COVERING for her???

Time Warp: Ooh, fair point, fair point

wheeliez: you honest to god think i wouldn't throw carla under the bus at any given opportunity?

wheeliez: the only reason i didn't lie and say it was her today is because im actually wondering where this is going

Jeremy: Okay that's also fair

Time Warp: Jerome your first interrogation question been overruled

Time Warp: Monty, carry on with your investigation 

Jeremy: alright look. I eat school burgers. Why would I want your gross leftover chicken nuggets dude. 

Jeremy: like literally monty saw me getting breakfast at the drive through this morning so I wasn't exactly going hungry 

wheeliez: he's right

wheeliez: so that leaves…

Time Warp: B I L L Y —

billybob: it wasn't me!

billybob: i was with lily finishing homework this morning!

Flower Girl: He was, actually

Flower Girl: And Nugget was with us, too, so he can confirm it

nugget: nugget knows this to be true, nugget was a key witness

Time Warp: WELL THAT MEANS NO ONE COULD HAVE TOOK IT!

Time Warp: WHERE ARE MY NUGGETS YALL!

Time Warp: DO WE HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE SUSPECTS AGAIN????

wheeliez: fuck it man i have shit to do today

Jeremy: oh

Jeremy: well, now that monty doesn't wanna be and I have an alibi, can I be detective

Time Warp: Fine, I GUESS

Jeremy: Nice

Jeremy: so

Jeremy: Nugget, Lily, and Billy were together all morning, Carla and Monty were together, Buggs was sick, I know I didn't fuckin do it and I've got an alibi anyways, Penny doesn't eat, Ozzy wouldn't do it, Cindy is vegan, and Ted and Felix were together all morning too

Jeremy: That literally leaves no one! What the fuck!

Time Warp: Somebody better own up about my fucking NUGGETS BRO

Teddy bear: Uh

Richy Bitchy: Don't you DARE

Teddy bear: but I 

Teddy bear: um

Teddy bear: it was me!!! I did it!!

Richy Bitchy: TEDDY—

Teddy bear: Felix secretly likes McGlobs nuggets and so he asked me to take them and I didn't want to but I did!

Teddy bear: I'm sorry ;-;

Richy Bitchy: T E B B Y

Richy Bitchy: HOW COULD YOU

wheeliez: tebby?

Time Warp: SO IT WAS YOU!

Ozzmosis: tebby…

billybob: tebby 

Time Warp: You guys owe me four fucking dollars for my goddamn nuggets

Time Warp: Also… Tebby

Richy Bitchy: ALRIGHT, I GET IT, I call him Tebby 

Teddy bear: It's my nickname!

Teddy bear: But only Felix can use it! >:(

Jeremy: if ted has a nickname does that mean felix also has a nickname

Richy Bitchy: No.

Teddy bear: It’s Felly!

Richy Bitchy: G O D 

wheeliez: ehehehe

billybob: are we seriously glossing kver thr fact that prim and proper felix huxley secretly likes mcglobs food??

billybob: wow i think i had a stroke there

billybob: *over, *the

Richy Bitchy: I.

Richy Bitchy: Okay this doesn't have to be such a callout for me.

billybob: also, on the topic of felix huxleys mile long callout post, i can't be the only one who knows he has to have a crush, right?

billybob: like, im not just reading too much into things?

billybob: its a legitimate something happening?

Richy Bitchy: Hmm.

Stealth 100: OwO?

wheeliez: holy shit hey carla 

Stealth 100: I heard the sounds of Huxley mockery

Stealth 100: Where is he

Stealth 100: Show me the current object of public ridicule

Jeremy: lmao 

Richy Bitchy: I hate to break this to you but I don't have a crush at all, you must be mistaken.

wheeliez: classic denial

Stealth 100: Smh 

Jeremy: yeah really 

billybob: heh 

Stealth 100: I wonder… perhaps…

Stealth 100: If it's possible that we have some crush matchup possibility?

Stealth 100: eyes emoji 

wheeliez: why did u type out eyes emoji

Stealth 100: Cause I'm too lazy to use the emoji keyboard

billybob: oh man carla you might be right, maybe we can be playing matchmaker or something for these two idiots 

Flower Girl: Wait, who matched with who now?

billybob: ill dm you

Flower Girl: Oh?

Flower Girl: Oh!

Flower Girl: Yeah I can kinda see it I guess

Flower Girl: Man, what an odd couple though

Stealth 100: Yknow, I hate to meddle in other people's affairs

wheeliez: dead lies

Stealth 100: But they would be cute together, maybe we should try and hook them up?

Teddy bear: what are we even talking about…?

Richy Bitchy: Good question, what ARE we talking about exactly?

Kween(™): UM??? You guys aren't telling ME about the relationship drama???

wheeliez: no

Stealth 100: No

Jeremy: no

Kween(™): W O W 

Ozzmosis: god, please say the stuff doesn't involve me at all

Ozzmosis: I'm not interested 

billybob: no promises ;)

Ozzmosis: GOD

Teddy bear: um, this…

Teddy bear: this doesn't involve ME, does it…?

Stealth 100: I don't think so?

Stealth 100: Who's your crush?

Stealth 100: DM me if you want

Teddy bear: I actually, um

Teddy bear: have more than one

Teddy bear: crush, I mean…

Time Warp: Okay I've kinda been zoning out looking at this chat for a bit but Ted that's a big fucking mood I won't even lie

Time Warp: Why is everyone in our friend group so attractive 

Teddy bear: yeah…

Teddy bear: but Carla, um, you promise you won't tell anyone if I tell you who I like…?

Stealth 100: Promise ya, Ted

Teddy bear: okay

Teddy bear: I sent names in your dms 

Stealth 100: Huh!

Stealth 100: Won't lie, I wasn't expecting that at all, but I can actually sorta see it!

Stealth 100: Especially the first two

Time Warp: Damn Ted how many crushes you got???

Teddy bear: aaah, three

Richy Bitchy: UM??? HELLO?????

Richy Bitchy: My baby brother has a crush and HASNT TOLD ME???

billybob: more than one crush, actually

Richy Bitchy: A romantic partner (a singular one, anyways) could potentially make you more appealing to potential partners and investors, Teddy. Good on you.

Ozzmosis: don't be gross, Felix, can't relationships just be pure and not for gain…?

billybob: yeah honestly

Stealth 100: Is that perhaps… a personal interest of yours, Ozzy?

Stealth 100: Eyes emoji…

Ozzmosis: CARLA—

Teddy bear: :0?

Time Warp: HEY WAIT HOLD ON

Time Warp: RELATIONSHIP CHAT TIME OVER AND DONE WITH

Time Warp: GUYS

Time Warp: I HAVENT BEEN REIMBURSED FOR MY FUCKING N U G G E T S !

Teddy bear: aaah I'm sorry!!

Teddy bear: I'll buy you more nuggets at lunch!!

Time Warp: No, actually

Time Warp: You won't

Teddy bear: ?

Time Warp: FELIX, however, WILL

Richy Bitchy: Excuse me?

Time Warp: You're the one who ate them, you're the one who pays for them

Time Warp: Do the crime, pay the dime

Teddy bear: I thought it was four dollars?

wheeliez: ted you're fucking stupid

Teddy bear: :(

Stealth 100: Fucking rude, Monty 

Richy Bitchy: Either way, FINE. I suppose I'll pay for your disgustingly cold chicken nuggets.

Richy Bitchy: I will see you at lunch.

Time Warp: Indeed you will

wheeliez: well now that we’ve finished this week's episode of dirk gentlys idiotic detective agency, what are we gonna talk about

Stealth 100: ( That joke doesn't even really work if you know what Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency is actually about >:( )

wheeliez: ((shut the hell up carla you don't know shit))

4NDR01D: Um.

4NDR01D: May I advise getting off your phones and paying attention in class properly for now…?

Stealth 100: Mmmmmmm

Stealth 100: I see, I see

4NDR01D: Please?

Stealth 100: Fine

Stealth 100: Everybody pay attention, don't talk without me anymore 

wheeliez: fiiiiiiiine

Time Warp: Yeah, fair

4NDR01D: Jerome I can still see you texting. :(

Jeremy: siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh

Jeremy: okay fine, whatever ill put it up

4NDR01D: :)


End file.
